Communicating with A.P.P.E.A.L.
“Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of
which they grow.” ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes
Why is it that there are some people you can happily listen to all day
long, while others you wish would take up the art of mime? What makes some
people more charismatic than others? I think it boils down to A.P.P.E.A.L.
These individuals communicate in a way that’s:
Articulate
Powerful
Personal
Ethical
Authentic
Leveraged
Think about public speakers and authors who have had an impact on you.
They’re generally very clear about what they have to say, and say it with
strength and authority. Yet they connect with you; their message affects
you in a personal way. They are generally true to their values and
themselves, and their communication reflects that, even over time. Finally,
the words they use inspire you to take action in some way, even if it’s to
attend their next speech or read their latest book or article.
Nature or Nurture?
So is there something inherently special about these people that make them
appealing? Are they born with this charisma, or can it be cultivated? I
think the answer is both. Some people are naturally gifted communicators –
perhaps it’s in their genes. But (for those of you who don’t currently
consider yourselves good speakers or writers) I absolutely know that can be
cultivated through awareness and practice.
Let’s break this down to see how you can raise your level of
communication appeal.
Articulate. Whether you’re speaking to one person or one thousand, being
articulate doesn’t necessarily mean being clever or having a big
vocabulary. It boils down to knowing clearly why you’re communicating, who
you’re communicating to, and what you want your receivers to come away
with. Do a little planning, and you too can become more articulate!
Powerful. Being powerful doesn’t mean loud or overbearing. It means
being passionate about your topic and believing in your own words. Think of
Ghandi — quiet, unassuming… and very powerful. Because he was passionate
and believed in what he had to say. Align those two things and you become
unstoppable.
Personal. In trying to sound knowledgeable or important, it’s easy to
lose track of the real purpose of communicating — to “make common” or
connect. By infusing your words with the underlying purpose of connecting,
you make a greater and lasting impact on everyone you come in contact with.
Ethical. This comes down to practicing what you preach; conversing,
speaking and writing in a way that aligns with your values and actions.
This doesn’t mean that other people have to agree with you, but they will
respect you for that consistency.
Authentic. No one will use the same words you do, in the same way, with
the same effect. Ever. Celebrate that difference. While imitation is the
sincerest form of flattery, it only flatters the other person. Be naturally
yourself and you’ll be amazed at how positively others respond to you.
Leveraged. Some people communicate for the sake of hearing their own
voice, but at the end of the day, communication is really about action and
influence. In general, you communicate because you want someone to think
differently, feel differently, or act differently. By consciously
understanding your motives for engaging with other people, you can choose
to communicate in a way that leverages what you want (in a way that’s
ethical and authentic, of course.)
So being appealing isn’t as mysterious as it seems. The common thread in
all of this is to understand yourself, your message, and your audience well
– the rest will flow naturally from your unique qualities!
