Starting your own business is to take an unforgettable journey to the Land of Mir-Oz.

Many new entrepreneurs will point to a turbulent event or period in their life – a tornado if you will – that precipitated their decision to go out on their own. That tornado could be a job layoff, an illness, a divorce, children moving out of the house, or simply the undeniable calling to purpose that can be ignored no longer.

Sound familiar?

The swirling turmoil of that tornado kicks up the dust of your black and white world, until the critical decision point lands you – THUMP! – in the middle of a brand new Technicolor world of your own making.

You emerge, blinking and bewildered, into Munchkinland for the Self-Employed, wondering at the newness, the color, the bright details all around you. You mean I don’t have to startle awake to an alarm clock every morning? I can trade in the suits for sweats? I can go out for a grande extra hot half-caff caramel macchiato whenever I want to??

Your journey begins with much pomp and circumstance, as the people around you rejoice in your initiative and worship your bravery, even as you protest that it’s “no big deal.” You look back with a small shudder at the remnants of your old life, crushed under the weight of your bold decision. Then, smiling, you grab your modest basket and furry traveling companion and skip forward toward the Land of Mir-Oz. You’re told that the yellow brick road is the path that will lead you to that Mecca of Success.

But you barely get going when you suddenly meet your nemesis, as surprising and frightening as any fairy tale witch: Your Own Self-Doubt. What was I thinking? Can I really do this? What if I lose my way and don’t make it? That Witch is green and ugly and throws balls of fire! Then, just like that, she is gone again. With a lump in your throat, you renew your resolve, gainfully pick up your basket and little dog and continue down the golden path.

Along the way you pick up “quests” to keep you company on your journey. The first is a search for Brains – the skills, knowledge, and tools to make it to Mir-Oz. You subscribe to guru newsletters; you buy “how to get a gazillion clients” audio programs; you take courses on selling and marketing and networking and what have you to help you find the path, to feel more confident that you’re going the right way.

You also pick up the search for a Heart – the ability to consistently tap into your passion and enthusiasm for your work and for your clients, even when the way is dark and forested. Over and over you go inward, searching for confirmation that you are on the right track, serving the right people, doing the right thing. And you are so often unsure of the answers. But then a friend’s kind word or a client’s inspiring testimonial reminds you why you love what you do, and you hear the faint beating of that heart, warming you and urging you forward.

And then comes the quest for Courage. Far away from your adoring fans in Munchkinland, you start feeling very small and insignificant. You compare yourself (always unfavorably) to the few who have made it “big”; you feel queasy thinking about the legions of business owners who have tried and failed; you feel unworthy to face the Wizard of Mir-Oz who is already all-powerful and all-successful. Who am I to think I can build a lucrative business? Do I really have what it takes to make it all the way to Mir-Oz? Even bleak, dusty “Kansas” starts to look good, especially when the Wicked Witch of Self-Doubt makes a sudden guest appearance. (I’ll get you, my Pretty! And your little dog too!)

And still you move on down that yellow brick road. Things start to get easier, the road opens up, and – Hurray! – you see Mir-Oz on the horizon. At this point, however, you may become lulled into opiate complacency by a string of clients; or rusted in place with residual ambivalence and fear. But the Emerald City still awaits, that land of green and shimmering beauty where you will soon arrive and be granted all the brains, heart, and courage you need to make your business flourish.

The Land of Mir-Oz is now in front of you, heralding a new level of success in your business. You become recognized, clients show up by referral, your appearance is sought after, and you are primped and courted by admirers – in short, you truly feel you have arrived.

Yet imagine your surprise when the door to Success doesn’t open to you automatically! You may be granted audience with the Great and Powerful Mir-Oz of Success, but he commands you to face the Wicked Witch of Self-Doubt head on in an epic battle, flying monkeys and all. You tremble and waver, yet stubbornly commit to melting Self-Doubt once and for all, setting yourself and your business free to succeed, with victory waiting for you back in Mir-Oz.

With all you have gathered along your journey, you face the Witch and learn that, as scary as she seems, she is actually quite vulnerable, easily destroyed by a single act of bravery (and a bucket of water). You return triumphant, broomstick in hand, ready for the great Mir-Oz to hand you your glory. But wait! What?? There is no Mir-Oz of Success? Nope, just a Mir-age. The Great and Powerful Wizard turns out to be just another human being, much like you, except he found his way to Mir-Oz more by adventure and accident than hard work and persistence. And he feels like a humbug because of it.

But, in the end, he grants you the greatest gift of all – the knowledge that you already have the Brains, the Heart, and the Courage to succeed as a business owner. These things were with you and in you all along. They are what accompanied you down the yellow brick road, what comforted you through the dark forest, and what helped you fight the Wicked Witch of Self-Doubt to her death.

So now, instead of waking up from this dream and finding yourself back in Kansas, you realize that your true home is on the Yellow Brick Road. That it leads far beyond the Land of Mir-Oz, taking you to new adventures and higher levels of success. And that you have everything you need to continue your journey where it takes you to build the business of your dreams.

“When words & manners leave you no space for yourself
make
very personal
very clear
& your obstructions will join you or disappear.”  ~ Ntozake Shange

There are two basic parts to all communication: 1) content and 2)
relationship. What this means is every single thing you say or write has
the power to both inform and affect your relationship with the recipient.
Expert speakers and writers are keenly aware of this and use it to their
benefit. To communicate with appeal, you must create a personal connection
with your audience. There are several ways to do this:

- Build common ground
- Give them what they want
- Be a real person
- Continue the relationship

BUILD COMMON GROUND
A basic tenet of psychology is that we like people who are like us. Think
about a conversation you’ve had with someone you just met. What were you
doing beneath the small talk? Discovering things you have in common. Recall
your delight when you found out you both grew up in the same city, or that
your kids go to the same school. Sharing common experiences helps us
predict a person’s values, thoughts, and behavior, making it safe to get
closer to them.

The back-and-forth nature of conversation makes it relatively easy to
build common ground. But if you’re giving a speech or writing an article,
you may need to do some research first to determine what you have in common
with your readers or listeners. Look for elements such as geography,
education, training, skills, abilities, organizations, relationships or
specialized language (jargon). Take care, however, to never misrepresent
yourself or your affiliations merely to “get in good” with your
audience.

And don’t forget about non-verbal communication. Apparel, appearance,
and actions all point to whether or not you’re a member of your
audience’s “club.” Matching your style and energy to your audience
helps emphasize your similarities rather than your differences.

GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT
Face it, it’s all about me. And, it’s all about you. We are each the
center of our own universe; for your message to reach someone you have to
take that into consideration. You may have specific goals for speaking or
writing, but remember that your audience has their own goals for listening
to or reading your words. So make sure your message addresses what they
need. Do they want information, inspiration, or entertainment? The more
closely your goals match theirs, the easier it is to capture their
attention. Even when your agenda is different from theirs or the news is
bad, keep their interests in mind (How will this affect me? What do I do
now?) and they will be more open to yours.

BE A REAL PERSON
Just like Geppetto, who long dreamed that his Pinnochio would someday
become a real boy, your audience wants you to be a real person, not a
wooden doll. You can be the premier expert in your field, but if people
can’t connect with you as a human being, you will eventually lose them.

It’s easy to get caught up in trying to impress people and look good –
but so often the more you try the less you succeed! The antidote? Be
yourself. Share your stories. Express your feelings. I used to work for a
technical services firm, and even in the driest sales presentations,
clients were most impressed by engineers who smiled and were genuinely
excited about the work they did.

CONTINUE THE RELATIONSHIP
Relationships are built over time. Yet so often a person will write one
article and wait for clients to call, give a single presentation and look
for the contract, or send out a resumé and expect a job offer! It takes
time for people to know you, like you, and trust you, so the most effective
communicators make sure they interact with their audiences again and again.
Schedule a follow-up meeting at the end of a sales presentation; raffle off
a free consultation after an association talk; invite people to subscribe
to your newsletter at a networking event; include your Website, email
and/or phone number in your article byline.

So next time you speak, write, or mix and mingle—focus on building common
ground, incorporating your audience’s goals, putting yourself into your message,
and creating a way to continue the relationship. That old saying “Familiarity
breeds contempt” doesn’t apply at all in effective communication. Rather,
familiarity breeds comfort and eagerness to communicate with you again!

The road to wisdom? Well, it’s plain
And simple to express:
Err
and err
and err again,
but less
and less
and less.

“Remember that what pulls the strings is the force hidden within; there lies the power to persuade, there the life — there, if one must speak out, the real man.” ~ Marcus Aurelius

Power is a loaded word, conjuring up positive and negative images for
people. Good or bad, power is a critical component of communicating with
A.P.P.E.A.L. It’s what captures and holds people’s attention, and spurs
them into action.

There are three elements that powerful communicators share:

-Knowledge of their subject
-Belief in their message
-Energy in their delivery

Whether you’re writing, speaking, or conversing, your communication is
powerful when these things are present and working together. Let’s look
at each in detail.

You Gotta Start Somewhere

Having knowledge is a clear prerequisite for communicating powerfully. But
keep two things in mind. First, you don’t have to know everything to
claim you know something. My clients trip up on this all the time. “What
if I don’t know enough?” “What if people find out I’m not an
expert?” Not only is it impossible to know everything, there’s really no
objective measure that definitively says “You now have Knowledge. Ta-da!”

So start where you are and build on it. Don’t avoid giving a talk,
writing an article, networking, or joining an interest group because you’re
afraid you don’t know enough. You’ll often find when you share your
knowledge of a topic, people know less about it than you think!

Second, don’t be afraid to not know. I’ve never heard anyone get
boo’ed off a stage because they answered a question with “I don’t
know.” True knowledge is built by following up that “I don’t know”
with “I’ll find out and get back to you.” The most knowledgeable
people know where to find information quickly. Fortunately, the Internet
makes us all more knowledgeable by this definition!

If You Believe It, They’ll Believe You

Powerful communicators not only know what they are talking about, they
also believe in their own words. What made Martin Luther King, Jr. a
powerful communicator was that he really did have a dream, one that
permeated his whole being. If you have the emotional conviction behind what
you say or write, people feel the power.

Unfortunately, belief is hard to drum up if it’s not there to begin
with. Choosing a topic, a livelihood, or a relationship you believe in
makes talking or writing about it much easier! Ask anyone who started a
business to uphold family tradition; chose a career because it made lots of
money; or proposed to someone because it “made sense.” Communicating
without belief often leaves us drained, powerless.

So check in with yourself before you start talking or typing. Do you
believe in your subject? Is it consistent with your values? Do you really
care about what you’re saying? The more aligned your words are with who
you are, the more impact those words will have on others.

Turn Up the Juice

So you know something about your topic and you believe in it. Now it’s
time to breathe life into your words. When writing, select language that is
creative, descriptive, alive. Make use of examples, stories and analogies
whenever possible. Face it, as readers we want to be enthralled. So know
who your audience is and write to hold their attention.

When speaking, do all this and more. Use your voice as a tool to create
excitement, significance, even tension. Vary your pace, change your vocal
tone, use pauses for effect. If all this sounds daunting, try this
exercise. Before giving a talk, practice it as if you were telling a
children’s bedtime story. Really exaggerate, noticing how you emphasize
particular words, change your pitch, and pause in certain places. Now
rehearse it again in your normal voice, remembering your bedtime version.
Consider recording before and after this exercise so you can hear the
difference.

Pump Up the Power

Naturally, all this takes preparation and practice, but if it’s worth
communicating, it’s worth communicating well. Try it for yourself next
time you have to write or speak with power. Review and own what you know
about the topic. Ensure that you believe in your own words. Communicate
what you know with energy and enthusiasm. You’ll soon find people
listening more intently, and treating you with the respect you’ve earned
as a powerful communicator!