There’s an art to getting the most out of a buffet.

First, you assess the size of your plate. Sometimes you get a big, generous plate; some even have edges that curve upward for extra filling capacity. Other times you get a dinky little plate, barely enough to hold a couple of meatballs and a cocktail shrimp.

Once you know the size of your plate, you cruise the offerings and see
what you’d like to fill your plate with, and what you can skip. If you
just start scooping up from start to finish, even with the smallest
portions you’ll run out of room, and possibly missing out on your
favorite foods.

You also want to know how often you can go back through the line. Is it a
one-time, all-you-can-eat, pile-it-high kind of affair, or a bountiful
feast you can return to again and again?

The Buffet Line of Your Life
I’m probably not telling you anything new (unless you’ve never been to
a buffet). But you may not have realized that you can follow these same
principles with your time and energy to create a joyful, satisfying life.
Instead, so many of us do the opposite. We don’t assess the size of our
“plate” and take on more than we can chew. We load up on whatever comes
our way, with no room left for the things we really love. We gorge
ourselves on a plate that’s overflowing with mediocrity — resulting in
stress, frustration, and tummy aches.

So what to do? Let’s go back to the front of our proverbial buffet line,
and reassess what you have available and what you have to work with.

What Size is Your Plate?
Look carefully at your plate. You can think of its diameter as the total
amount of time you have at your disposal. This amount will vary depending
on your particular business or career, family life, financial state, social
commitments, etc. Whether small or large, the absolute limits of your free
time are critical to know before “filling your plate.”

Another dimension to your plate’s capacity is its depth. Is it shallow
and flat, or deep and curved? This is comparable to the amount of energy
you have. Your energy level is affected by many factors as well, such as
your genetic makeup, your age, your health, your outlook on life, to name a
few.

Note that there’s a relationship between your plate’s diameter and its
depth. You may have a lot of things competing for your time (small plate),
but you are strong and healthy and energetic (deep dish), so you may be
able to put a lot on your plate. Conversely, while you may not have many
commitments taking up your time, you may have physical or other challenges
that decrease how much you can realistically pile on.

Pick Out Your Favorite Items
Now that you understand your capacity, let’s move to what’s available
to you. Cruise through the buffet line of your life. What would you ideally
like to be spending more time on? What’s most important to you? Here’s
an enlightening exercise:

1. Take a piece of paper and make three separate columns.

2. In column A, list all the things you spend time and energy on in your
life. Be thorough. Don’t leave anything out.

3. In column B, rate how important each commitment is to you, on a scale
from one to ten.

4. In column C, rate how much of your time or energy you spend on that
item.

Pay attention to discrepancies between what you want to be doing and
what you are doing. These are clues to how you load yourself up and where
you might need to readjust.

One Time Through?
Once you’ve perused all the items on your life’s buffet, think about
which are routine or mundane, and which are “once-in-a-lifetime”
experiences. Are you missing your child’s milestone events to work late
yet again on an unsatisfying project? Or are you passing up a critical
promotion opportunity because you’d rather get together with your
friends? Ultimately, we only get so many trips through the “buffet
line,” so if you want to feel more content with your life overall,
deliberately choose those morsels that are most satisfying to you, both
during the meal and after it’s over.

Strategies for Success
This all sounds easy enough on paper or even in a buffet line, but what if
you’ve already overloaded your very small plate? The key is awareness,
commitment, and patience.

- Be aware of what you are saying yes to, all the time. Evaluate it
against your list of what you really want on your plate and see how well it
aligns. Say ‘no’ where you can. Even once.

- Be willing to commit to doing one thing each day (or week or month) that
shifts your plate from what you feel you have to be doing to what you want
to be doing. Delegate, automate, ask for help, remember to say no.

- Be patient with yourself. You might have a lifelong habit of rushing
through your buffet line, piling your plate high, and feeling obligated to
consume everything long after you have desire (or room) left.The wonderful
thing about a buffet is that, really, you’re in control. You may not be
able to command the size of your plate, but you can always choose what goes
on it.

So what will go on your plate today?