I recently got to thinking about light and how many different ways we use it to our advantage. Diving headlamps, recessed canister lighting, surgical lasers, lighthouse beacons, Halloween black lights. Seems like there’s a special light for every possible use and occasion.

As intelligent beings, we “shine light” on the changes and challenges in our lives through our capacity to think logically, creatively, reflectively. But it’s easy to get into a fixed way of thinking, kind of like that all-purpose, 60-watt incandescent bulb. How we analyze situations, solve problems, and make decisions often follows a predictable pattern. This can work for us most of the time, just as that ol’ white light bulb meets most of our everyday household needs.

But wouldn’t it be more powerful, more illuminating, if we could select the perfect way of thinking to ideally suit each problem or decision point we encounter? After all, a doctor wouldn’t use a floodlight to remove a tumor, nor would a spelunker use a laser to find their way through a cave. Using light as a metaphor, let’s talk about a range of thinking styles and how to select the best approach for a given situation, using career transition as an example.

Candlelight. A way of thinking that is quiet, calm, introspective, meditative. Thinking like candlelight uses peace, intuition, and spirituality to access inner wisdom and insight for important decisions. You might use this kind of thinking to ask yourself important questions about your ideal career, your contribution to society, or your life’s purpose.

Flashlight. A flashlight is for searching, exploring, and illuminating. You can use flashlight thinking when you want to explore a problem or get more information. It’s a frame of mind that is inquisitive, open-minded, non-judgmental, and optimistic. Flashlight thinking is great for researching new career opportunities, investigating organizations of interest, or figuring out how to expand your skill set.

Floodlight. This bold light is used to illuminate a wide area and dispel the darkness. Use floodlight thinking to open up your horizons and drive out fear. It’s about being courageous and taking action, even when you feel scared. Floodlight thinking can be about believing in your own ability to find meaningful work or ask for that promotion. It’s about choosing to see opportunity where none existed before.

Ultraviolet/Infrared. This is light we can’t see, yet can feel its effects. It represents the Aha! moments in our lives, when something shifts and we suddenly see our situation differently. Sometimes these epiphanies take us by surprise; sometimes they’re a long time coming. It’s the moment of truth that says, “I don’t want to do this job anymore,” or “Hey, I could turn my hobby into a career!”

Prism. A prism isn’t a source of light, but rather a filter for seeing light differently. I liken it to our imagination, allowing playfulness and creativity to transform ordinary thoughts into a rainbow of possibilities. It’s inspired problem-solving, mind-mapping, brainstorming, playing with new ideas, letting yourself outside of your own box and seeing what happens. It’s imagining what you’d do for work if money were no object, or if you could call a “do-over” on your career.

Laser. A laser is powerful, concentrated light source that’s made for action. Laser thinking is precise, focused, and results-oriented. Use laser thinking to create S.M.A.R.T. goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-driven). It’s knowing where you want to go and developing a plan for how to get there. An example is deciding to update your résumé by a certain date, or apply for a specific job that sounds perfect for you.

So next time you have a problem you’re struggling with, ask yourself, “What kind of light am I shining on this situation?” Chances are you might benefit from changing the brightness, intensity or hue of your thoughts to come up with better solutions. And if your own light fails to illuminate, ask a friend to lend you theirs.

How do you handle life’s roadblocks? Do you say, “Oh boy! What a great challenge! I can’t wait to work my way through this particular problem…”? I’m guessing probably not. More likely your reaction is something along the lines of, “Oh *%&#!”

If so, don’t feel bad; you’re in good company.

I’ve known a few amazing people in my life who meet challenges in a naturally positive way. But I think most of us approach our troubles with a fight or flight mentality. Nevertheless, I truly believe that the ability to face and overcome obstacles is one of humankind’s greatest characteristics, and one that can be cultivated.

What it takes is the willingness to shift our relationship with our obstacles. To do this, I recommend a “Triple-A” approach:

1. Awareness
2. Attitude
3. Action

Awareness

This may sound obvious, but to change a behavior you first have to be aware of it. So much of our behavior is ingrained and unconscious, and we often defeat ourselves before we ever get started and not even realize it.

Once you’ve identified a problem in your life, it’s easy to get swept up in the strong emotions it triggers. This often just intensifies the problem and makes it harder to come up with solutions. To distance yourself from these emotions, try writing your problem out on paper in three steps. First list the facts; then list what the situation means to you; then list your feelings about it. For example:

1. One of your co-workers just got promoted. (FACT)
2. You wanted that job and believe you should have gotten it. It must be that your manager thinks you’re not good enough. (MEANING)
3. You’re angry, hurt, bewildered, resentful, envious. (FEELINGS)

In this case, it’s possible you don’t know all the reasons why the co-worker got the promotion, nor why you might have been passed over. Often we leap to conclusions without having enough information. Using these three steps helps us distinguish what’s really happening from what we might be making up. Ask yourself if your meaning is the truth, or if there’s something you’re missing, distorting, or just wishing were true.

If you are still overwhelmed, try writing down the problem:

• as if it happened five years ago. You may find that by framing your problem as a story, the ending (solution) naturally follows. “I didn’t get this promotion I wanted, so what I ended up doing was…”
• as though it were happening to someone else. “I know this person who was passed over for a promotion …” Also describe how they’re reacting to the situation. “They were really bent out of shape…”
• from the perspective of a wise guru, offering compassion and advice to someone else in this situation. “I know this feels awful now, but this is what you might do to turn this around…”

Attitude

Once you’ve put some emotional distance between you and your problem, you can gain more control over your attitude towards the situation, and begin to explore alternate interpretations or meanings. Here are some helpful questions to ask yourself:

What does this problem mean to me?

What’s the payoff for staying overwhelmed about this problem?

What frame of mind would help me get through this more easily?

What lessons might I learn from this situation?

What’s good about this?

As you come up with answers, you may find yourself looking at your problem in a completely different way, and naturally gravitating towards finding a solution.

Action

When you’ve shifted from problem mode to solution mode, you can now decide how to take action. Ask yourself:

What strengths do I bring to this situation?

What information do I need to resolve this problem?

When have I faced something like this before? What did I do in the past?

Where in this do I have control or influence?

What do I need to let go of?

Who can help me?

What’s my first step?

And know that you don’t have to (nor is it advisable to) do this all by yourself. In general the most resilient people are those who have a strong network of people to rely on when things get difficult. And when you enlist others to help you with problems, you are in effect saying, “You matter enough to me that I’m willing to be vulnerable with you.” This is a precious gift that strengthens relationships. So find people you trust-friends, family, colleagues, community members, or professionals-and ask them if they’d be willing to walk through these steps with you and be a compassionate sounding board as you face your problem.

So obstacles aren’t really obstacles; they’re what we make them to be. They can be brick walls that stop us in our tracks, or they can be isometric exercises that make us stronger, increase our stamina, and help us grow into our very best selves.

Think of a problem you’re currently facing. Apply the “Triple-A” approach, and see how your relationship with that problem changes. Embrace the illusion!