Starting your own business is to take an unforgettable journey to the Land of Mir-Oz.

Many new entrepreneurs will point to a turbulent event or period in their life – a tornado if you will – that precipitated their decision to go out on their own. That tornado could be a job layoff, an illness, a divorce, children moving out of the house, or simply the undeniable calling to purpose that can be ignored no longer.

Sound familiar?

The swirling turmoil of that tornado kicks up the dust of your black and white world, until the critical decision point lands you – THUMP! – in the middle of a brand new Technicolor world of your own making.

You emerge, blinking and bewildered, into Munchkinland for the Self-Employed, wondering at the newness, the color, the bright details all around you. You mean I don’t have to startle awake to an alarm clock every morning? I can trade in the suits for sweats? I can go out for a grande extra hot half-caff caramel macchiato whenever I want to??

Your journey begins with much pomp and circumstance, as the people around you rejoice in your initiative and worship your bravery, even as you protest that it’s “no big deal.” You look back with a small shudder at the remnants of your old life, crushed under the weight of your bold decision. Then, smiling, you grab your modest basket and furry traveling companion and skip forward toward the Land of Mir-Oz. You’re told that the yellow brick road is the path that will lead you to that Mecca of Success.

But you barely get going when you suddenly meet your nemesis, as surprising and frightening as any fairy tale witch: Your Own Self-Doubt. What was I thinking? Can I really do this? What if I lose my way and don’t make it? That Witch is green and ugly and throws balls of fire! Then, just like that, she is gone again. With a lump in your throat, you renew your resolve, gainfully pick up your basket and little dog and continue down the golden path.

Along the way you pick up “quests” to keep you company on your journey. The first is a search for Brains – the skills, knowledge, and tools to make it to Mir-Oz. You subscribe to guru newsletters; you buy “how to get a gazillion clients” audio programs; you take courses on selling and marketing and networking and what have you to help you find the path, to feel more confident that you’re going the right way.

You also pick up the search for a Heart – the ability to consistently tap into your passion and enthusiasm for your work and for your clients, even when the way is dark and forested. Over and over you go inward, searching for confirmation that you are on the right track, serving the right people, doing the right thing. And you are so often unsure of the answers. But then a friend’s kind word or a client’s inspiring testimonial reminds you why you love what you do, and you hear the faint beating of that heart, warming you and urging you forward.

And then comes the quest for Courage. Far away from your adoring fans in Munchkinland, you start feeling very small and insignificant. You compare yourself (always unfavorably) to the few who have made it “big”; you feel queasy thinking about the legions of business owners who have tried and failed; you feel unworthy to face the Wizard of Mir-Oz who is already all-powerful and all-successful. Who am I to think I can build a lucrative business? Do I really have what it takes to make it all the way to Mir-Oz? Even bleak, dusty “Kansas” starts to look good, especially when the Wicked Witch of Self-Doubt makes a sudden guest appearance. (I’ll get you, my Pretty! And your little dog too!)

And still you move on down that yellow brick road. Things start to get easier, the road opens up, and – Hurray! – you see Mir-Oz on the horizon. At this point, however, you may become lulled into opiate complacency by a string of clients; or rusted in place with residual ambivalence and fear. But the Emerald City still awaits, that land of green and shimmering beauty where you will soon arrive and be granted all the brains, heart, and courage you need to make your business flourish.

The Land of Mir-Oz is now in front of you, heralding a new level of success in your business. You become recognized, clients show up by referral, your appearance is sought after, and you are primped and courted by admirers – in short, you truly feel you have arrived.

Yet imagine your surprise when the door to Success doesn’t open to you automatically! You may be granted audience with the Great and Powerful Mir-Oz of Success, but he commands you to face the Wicked Witch of Self-Doubt head on in an epic battle, flying monkeys and all. You tremble and waver, yet stubbornly commit to melting Self-Doubt once and for all, setting yourself and your business free to succeed, with victory waiting for you back in Mir-Oz.

With all you have gathered along your journey, you face the Witch and learn that, as scary as she seems, she is actually quite vulnerable, easily destroyed by a single act of bravery (and a bucket of water). You return triumphant, broomstick in hand, ready for the great Mir-Oz to hand you your glory. But wait! What?? There is no Mir-Oz of Success? Nope, just a Mir-age. The Great and Powerful Wizard turns out to be just another human being, much like you, except he found his way to Mir-Oz more by adventure and accident than hard work and persistence. And he feels like a humbug because of it.

But, in the end, he grants you the greatest gift of all – the knowledge that you already have the Brains, the Heart, and the Courage to succeed as a business owner. These things were with you and in you all along. They are what accompanied you down the yellow brick road, what comforted you through the dark forest, and what helped you fight the Wicked Witch of Self-Doubt to her death.

So now, instead of waking up from this dream and finding yourself back in Kansas, you realize that your true home is on the Yellow Brick Road. That it leads far beyond the Land of Mir-Oz, taking you to new adventures and higher levels of success. And that you have everything you need to continue your journey where it takes you to build the business of your dreams.

I love words and language — in essence they are what define us as human. Just try to think about something — anything — without words popping up in your mind. It’s nearly impossible. Our words reflect who we are, and they also shape who we can become when we use them consciously. Often times we become enslaved by the words we use, by training or habit or laziness. Not particularly wanting to be enslaved (even by myself) I’ve been collecting strategies for using language more consciously, and thus be more the master of my thoughts, beliefs, and actions.

Which brings me to antonyms — an antonym is a word that is the opposite in meaning to another word. Fast - slow, hot - cold, happy - sad, that kind of thing. I sometimes use antonyms to help me choose how I want to be in a given situation.

Say I’m feeling nervous or afraid of something. If I’m alert enough to my state, I try to think of the antonym for what I’m feeling. Fearful becomes brave; nervous becomes calm. Then I think about what I would feel/say/do if I were experiencing that antonym, right now. And when I do that, the negative state I’m in tends to melt away and be replaced with something approaching that antonym.

Try it. Let me know how it works for you.

I’m skeptical when someone claims to be fearless–after all, it’s an integral part of being human. If we understand that fear’s true (albeit sometimes misguided) purpose is to keep us safe, we can actually use it to our advantage.

Unfortunately, it seems that instead of being taught to manage fear, we’re almost encouraged to operate from it–by our parents (with punishment), our teachers (with bad grades), our employers (with termination), government (with loss of freedom), the media (with crime and natural disasters), and the list goes on.

Fear can hijack your life by:

• dampening your motivation to grow or improve your situation
• jeopardizing personal and professional relationships
• making you hesitant to accept help
• forcing you to make excuses for your words and actions
• locking you into negative thought patterns and self-destructive behaviors
• imprisoning you in a dead-end job, a bad marriage, even your own home.

However, I believe we can learn to choose how we experience fear, and in doing so open ourselves up to a whole new set of options. When you get right down to it, our emotions are just energy. We can either let that energy overwhelm us, or we can harness and drive it in a more positive direction.

Here are a few ways you can reframe your fear.

Recognize fear for what it is. Perceived fear is a physical sensation. And unless you’re in the direct path of a large speeding object or a person with malicious intent, you have the luxury of just feeling that fear for a few minutes. Sit quietly, close your eyes, and concentrate on where you feel fear in your body. Now, imagine breathing through those affected areas. Notice how the sensations change. You’ll soon realize that fear is physical and transient, something that you can control and release.

Get rational. Turn on your “left” brain and see your fear as a puzzle to be solved. Ask questions like: Who taught me to be fearful about this? Which parts of this fear are rational, and which are ridiculous? When did I start being afraid? Where does this show up for me? What would happen if I chose to feel differently about this? Disarm your fear with some compassionate interrogation.

Do some biased research. You can always find plenty of evidence to support your fears. Instead, avoid the path of least resistance and look for facts and statistics that refute your fears. When you look for evidence to the contrary, not only will you find it, but you may also find you’ve changed your whole outlook in the process.

Model yourself after the best. Talk to or read about someone who’s faced a similar situation. Recognize that in each of us is the ability to overcome great obstacles. Sometimes all it takes is feeling inspired by others to see it in ourselves.

Air them out. Fears rattle around in our head like nuts and bolts in a clothes dryer. Drawing fears out into the air or in writing strips them of their power, somehow. Find a trusted friend to talk with, or simply write them down. Watch them magically shrink before your very eyes!

Have a “higher self” dialogue. Once you’ve exposed your fears, talk back to them. Pretend you are a very old, very wise person, and respond to each specific fear in a calm, assured, comforting way–verbally or in writing. You’ll be amazed at your own wisdom, and soon realize you’re also free to act on that wisdom.

Trust your own sources. It’s likely that you inherited many fears early on, from adults, influential peers, teachers, or other “trusted” sources. Ask yourself how much of your fear is based on your own experience. What part of it is “Mom always said…,” or “It happened to my cousin once…,” or “CNN reported…”? Once you understand the source, give yourself permission to let go of any fear you accidentally picked up from someone else.

Break it down gently. If fear keeps you from achieving a goal, a phobia treatment called systematic desensitization can help get you back in gear. First break your goal into small, doable increments. Then visualize each step, and imagine taking action and getting a great result. As your fear rises, use deep breathing or other relaxation techniques to dissipate any uncomfortable feelings. Then take that step, managing your anxiety with relaxation as you go. You’ll soon be able to control your fear response, stay in action, and reach your goal. This approach is reinforcing, because taking action is one of fear’s most powerful antidotes!

When you change your knee-jerk reaction to fear into a thoughtful response, you take away its power to control your life. So next time you find yourself resisting, suppressing, avoiding, or fighting something you’re afraid of, take a closer look and try to understand the fear. Remember, “know fear” leads to “no fear!”