It’s been an interesting past few months; the operative word has been “remodel.” We remodeled our kitchen, and I remodeled my website. Through these projects, I learned even more about deliberate and conscious change. As I’ve thought about it (and lived through it), there are 10 different stages to a remodeling job These phases apply to any kind of revamping you make in your life - whether it’s what you do, who you’re with, where you live, or all three!

Here are the stages:

1. Discontent. Simply put, you’re not happy with the status quo anymore. The dissatisfaction may be physical, mental, emotional, even spiritual. In any case, there’s a growing awareness that you’d like it to be different, even if you don’t know what it looks like yet. The key at this stage is to acknowledge that your discomfort has validity, and to not rationalize it away.
2. Vision. You start getting a clear picture of what you do want. Your ideal career, that well-matched mate, the perfect city to live in. Sometimes the vision comes easily; other times it may be hard to bring what you want into focus. Detail is needed here. The more clearly you can see the particulars of your desired change, the more motivation you’ll have to do something about it. If those details are fuzzy at first, stay with it. Read about it, write it down, draw a picture, talk to people about it. Over time you’ll find your vision crystallizing into something that you can articulate and take steps toward achieving.
3. Plan. Before leaping headlong into a remodel, it’s a good idea to work through how it’s all going to go. Are you starting a new business? Write a business plan. Are you relocating? Outline all the things that need to take place on each side of the move. Even in something as unpredictable and messy as a divorce, you can still plan for what decisions need to be made and by when, and clarify who can help and who will be impacted. For those of us who don’t like planning all that much, focus on simplicity. What’s the most straightforward path to where you want to be? A simple plan makes it easy to move out of the vision stage and into action!

   

4. Demolition. At this point there’s nothing left to do but dive in. But in order to have something new, you need to remove the old. Sometimes the demolition is very tangible (like the massive pile of rubble in our backyard); other times it’s an inner dismantling of all that’s comfortable and familiar. It’s easy to have “remodeler’s remorse” at this stage. WHAT HAVE I DONE?? To combat this, go back to your goal; re-energize yourself with the knowledge that you are doing this for a very good reason.
5. Turbulence. Once you’re in the thick of the remodeling, things can get a little bumpy. As you leave the familiar behind but haven’t reached the other side, there can be a lot of stress and frustration. You will have to think, work, and live differently, and much in your life will feel “temporary” until the change is complete. What helps here is to trust in your vision and your plan. Make adjustments to the plan as needed, but stay in the present. If you project ahead to the future and wonder why the heck you aren’t there yet, you’ll find the ride gets even bumpier.
6. Haven. You may find that the temporary measures you’ve established during this big change readily settle into a new routine. The makeshift kitchen in the basement, the rhythm of the job search, the hotel room while your furniture is being shipped. We humans are amazingly adaptable, and it may surprise you how quickly the temporary can feel like home. Use this stage for regrouping. Rest, allow yourself to breathe, and recharge for the rest of the journey.
7. Progress. This is the light at the end of the tunnel. You start seeing glimpses of your vision unfolding. You can actually imagine working in a new job, living in a new place, being with a new person. But with progress often comes annoyance at not enough progress. Give yourself the gift of patience. Know that you are growing and learning, and this takes time. Rushing through the change, you may miss some gifts along the way.
8. Finale. The work is done, the move is made, the deal is clinched, and you’re ready to roll. What happens sometimes, though, is that we’re so anxious to move on that we forget about celebration! Acknowledge what you’ve been through, congratulate yourself on your endurance, be grateful for what you’ve learned. You can do this as formally or informally as you like, but your mind will remember your marking the accomplishment, which will help motivate you for the next big remodeling!
9. Adjustment. You wanted this. You asked for it. So why isn’t it perfect? From something as simple as remembering which drawer you put the silverware in, to learning to navigate a whole new company culture, there’s still a period of adjustment as you settle into your new way of being. This stage also requires patience, but curiosity is helpful as well. Turn frustration into a game. How long will it take me to learn the ropes here? What new, interesting thing will happen today? Go easy on yourself and lighten up. You’re where you want to be!
10. Integration. You’ve arrived. Your remodel is comfortable, familiar, and feels like home. It has become a part of you. The best thing to do at this point is to experience the gratitude of setting your vision, enduring the transition, and reaching your goal!

So whether you’re remodeling an old room to fit the times, or updating a career to fit your current lifestyle, use these stages as a guide for helping you through the change while keeping your perspective (and your sanity).

What parts of your life might be in need of remodeling?