As we move my elderly father 1,000 miles closer to us, the concept of “worry” has been on my mind a lot lately. The dictionary defines worry as “feeling uneasy or concerned about something; to be troubled.” Worry can also be “to pull or tear at something with or as if with the teeth” (like a dog worrying a bone). That’s a fitting analogy for the scenarios we repeatedlygnaw on with our minds.

So, why do we worry? I believe there are several reasons:

1. We simulate negative situations to “practice” how we will handle them in real life.
2. We imagine worst-case scenarios as a kind of talisman, protecting us from their actually happening.
3. Since our brain chemistry doesn’t differentiate between real and imagined scenarios, we get addicted to the “fight or flight” chemicals released when we imagine the worst.

In truth, worrying rarely helps us. How many times has the situation you worried about actually turned out that way? What worry does do is put us in a constant state of anxiety, weakening our immune system, suppressing our creativity, and in fact making us less able to handle difficult life situations when they do arise.

Believe it or not, we choose to worry. After many years of practice that choice becomes a habit, but one that can be broken with conscious effort. Without becoming an insufferable optimist or dismissing reality, you can still choose to focus on the best-case scenario. By doing so, you send your mind and body a signal that this is the outcome you’re aiming for.

Here are a few creative ways to help break the worrying habit:

CIA. Consider the situation you’re worried about, and make a three-column list: things you can Control, things you can Influence, and things you can Accept about the situation. Take action on the first two columns, and let go of the third.

Freebird. If you’re a visual person, sometimes it helps to imagine your thoughts as something tangible. I often picture worrisome thoughts as trapped birds, frantically flapping around in my head. Then I imagine opening a window and letting them fly out. While you can use any image that works for you, I recommend finding something that signifies “letting go” or “releasing.”

Get in gear. Worrying is a lot like having your foot on the gas pedal without the car being in gear. You waste a lot of gas but don’t go anywhere. Change that potential energy into kinetic energy! Go for a walk, run up a flight of stairs, turn on some music and dance. Move your body and change your chemistry.Now’s OK. Bring yourself back to the present. Where are you and what are you doing right now? Eating breakfast, driving your car, sitting in your office, brushing your teeth, walking the dog? Chances are you’re in familiar territory. Is there anything in this moment that’s truly unmanageable? Do this each time you feel overwhelmed. By returning to the present, you reclaim your power over the situation and your life. Even when you’re faced with something new, assess the present and know that you’re handling it, right now.

Improvise on these to suit your personality. For more ideas, read 25 Ways to Break the Worrying Habit.

Quick! What was the best thing that happened to you yesterday? What made that day worthwhile?

Uh…

If you’re like me (and probably most people) you might have trouble coming up with anything off the top of your head. That’s because, unless you’re already leading a rare and extraordinary life, one day tends to run into the other. Your days then turn into weeks turn into months into years until you find yourself saying, “Is it April already? Can you believe Y2K was five years ago??”

So how do we slow this whole time thing down and live each day to the fullest? One popular method is to “be here now.” Savor the moment, be conscious, that sort of thing.

Personally, I find it hard to remain present just for the sake of it. It takes discipline and, like all things requiring discipline, has the potential to become yet another source of anxiety.

Instead, why not make it fun?

Try this: when you wake up in the morning (or the night before if you’re a planner) create a “theme” for the day. Look for opportunities throughout the day to manifest that theme. It becomes both a game and a source of inspiration as you begin to realize that you are creating your own daily experience, without changing anything about your environment or activities. What changes is how you observe and influence your actions and responses.

A daily theme should be something that is enjoyable yet personally meaningful. Here are some examples:

• Today is about… humor. I will deliberately look for things I see/hear/read throughout the day that make me smile or laugh.
• Today is about…patience. I will experiment with responding rationally to irrational requests by my supervisor or spouse, or find interesting things to look at or think about while waiting in line.
• Today is about…connecting. I will give 100 percent of my attention and energy to each encounter – with clients, co-workers, family, friends, strangers – and notice how they respond.

The trick is to make this fun. Consider it a treasure hunt. Now that you’re looking for them, opportunities to find or create elements in your theme will show up again and again. You’ll get hooked and want to look for more.

Then before you go to sleep, think back over the day. It will be a lot easier to catalog what happened, what you did, how you felt. You’ll find that you’ve lived a much slower, richer day, just by framing how to think and act within it.

What is tomorrow’s theme going to be?