“Remember that what pulls the strings is the force hidden within; there lies the power to persuade, there the life — there, if one must speak out, the real man.” ~ Marcus Aurelius

Power is a loaded word, conjuring up positive and negative images for
people. Good or bad, power is a critical component of communicating with
A.P.P.E.A.L. It’s what captures and holds people’s attention, and spurs
them into action.

There are three elements that powerful communicators share:

-Knowledge of their subject
-Belief in their message
-Energy in their delivery

Whether you’re writing, speaking, or conversing, your communication is
powerful when these things are present and working together. Let’s look
at each in detail.

You Gotta Start Somewhere

Having knowledge is a clear prerequisite for communicating powerfully. But
keep two things in mind. First, you don’t have to know everything to
claim you know something. My clients trip up on this all the time. “What
if I don’t know enough?” “What if people find out I’m not an
expert?” Not only is it impossible to know everything, there’s really no
objective measure that definitively says “You now have Knowledge. Ta-da!”

So start where you are and build on it. Don’t avoid giving a talk,
writing an article, networking, or joining an interest group because you’re
afraid you don’t know enough. You’ll often find when you share your
knowledge of a topic, people know less about it than you think!

Second, don’t be afraid to not know. I’ve never heard anyone get
boo’ed off a stage because they answered a question with “I don’t
know.” True knowledge is built by following up that “I don’t know”
with “I’ll find out and get back to you.” The most knowledgeable
people know where to find information quickly. Fortunately, the Internet
makes us all more knowledgeable by this definition!

If You Believe It, They’ll Believe You

Powerful communicators not only know what they are talking about, they
also believe in their own words. What made Martin Luther King, Jr. a
powerful communicator was that he really did have a dream, one that
permeated his whole being. If you have the emotional conviction behind what
you say or write, people feel the power.

Unfortunately, belief is hard to drum up if it’s not there to begin
with. Choosing a topic, a livelihood, or a relationship you believe in
makes talking or writing about it much easier! Ask anyone who started a
business to uphold family tradition; chose a career because it made lots of
money; or proposed to someone because it “made sense.” Communicating
without belief often leaves us drained, powerless.

So check in with yourself before you start talking or typing. Do you
believe in your subject? Is it consistent with your values? Do you really
care about what you’re saying? The more aligned your words are with who
you are, the more impact those words will have on others.

Turn Up the Juice

So you know something about your topic and you believe in it. Now it’s
time to breathe life into your words. When writing, select language that is
creative, descriptive, alive. Make use of examples, stories and analogies
whenever possible. Face it, as readers we want to be enthralled. So know
who your audience is and write to hold their attention.

When speaking, do all this and more. Use your voice as a tool to create
excitement, significance, even tension. Vary your pace, change your vocal
tone, use pauses for effect. If all this sounds daunting, try this
exercise. Before giving a talk, practice it as if you were telling a
children’s bedtime story. Really exaggerate, noticing how you emphasize
particular words, change your pitch, and pause in certain places. Now
rehearse it again in your normal voice, remembering your bedtime version.
Consider recording before and after this exercise so you can hear the
difference.

Pump Up the Power

Naturally, all this takes preparation and practice, but if it’s worth
communicating, it’s worth communicating well. Try it for yourself next
time you have to write or speak with power. Review and own what you know
about the topic. Ensure that you believe in your own words. Communicate
what you know with energy and enthusiasm. You’ll soon find people
listening more intently, and treating you with the respect you’ve earned
as a powerful communicator!

“Whatever we well understand we express clearly, and words flow with ease.”

~ Nicholas Boileau

I was surprised to find that there are 19 definitions for the word
“articulate.” Some of them don’t have anything to do with words (such as
the articulated segments of a worm). There were two definitions, however,
that help clarify what it means to be articulate:

1. using language easily and fluently; having facility with words: an
articulate speaker.

2. expressed, formulated, or presented with clarity and effectiveness: an
articulate thought.

The first speaks to what you might think about being articulate — that it’s
an innate gift or talent. While it’s true that certain people have a natural
facility with words, the second definition has more universal appeal.
You may not feel you naturally use language “easily and fluently,” but if
you work to present your thoughts with clarity and effectiveness, you’ll
be amazed how articulate you become, without adding a single word
to your vocabulary!

To increase your clarity and effectiveness, consider these three things:

The motive. What’s your purpose for speaking or writing? Do you want to
educate, motivate, entertain, build rapport? There are two components to
communication — content (what’s being said), and relationship (how you
connect). When you’re clear on what information you want to impart, and how
you want that information to impact your relationship with the receiver,
you can find the best words to meet both objectives.

The audience. Understanding who you’re communicating to, whether it’s one
person or a thousand, helps you choose the right topic, words, tone, and
delivery method for your audience to fully receive that message. What’s your
current relationship to them? What benefit do you both get from
the interaction? What perspective or background do they have that
affects their ability to understand you?

The takeaway. Knowing what you want (and don’t want) your receivers to
take away from your message impacts what you say and write. Do you want
people to see something in a different way, feel something new, or take some
action?

This seems like a lot to think about just to pick up the phone and
say hi to Aunt Martha, doesn’t it? Certainly the amount of time you spend
preparing your message should match the importance of the outcome. But I’ve
known people who spend the same amount of time preparing for a staff
meeting as they do when calling Aunt Martha. And they often get similar
results!

Although some people are naturally good with words, don’t underestimate
the value of practice. After all, gifted musicians still spend hours a day
at their craft! While you don’t have to spend hours practicing
articulation, honing the following skills will greatly improve your verbal
and written impact:

Be simple and concise. Use as few words as you can get away with and still
get your message across. The truth is, people can take in only so much
information. While it takes discipline, the more concise you can be, the
more impact you’ll have.

Consciously listen and read. Paying close attention to what other people
say and write can be illuminating. Put on your analytical hat the next time
you listen to a candidate’s speech or read a news article. What’s your
reaction to their words? Do they get to the point or just ramble? Do you
believe their message? Do you feel they care about what you think? Use your
own experience as a listener or reader to inform how you communicate with
others.

Be authentic. You will always be more articulate about what you know and
love than what you don’t. Trying to speak or write about something you
don’t know or care about can lead to stilted, uncomfortable language that
leaves your audience bewildered, unaffected, or worse. So tap into your own
knowledge and enthusiasm and let the words flow (concisely)!

Cross-test your message. It’s a good idea to test the clarify of your
message, particularly in your business, by writing down what you’re going
to say or saying out loud what you’ve written. Often my clients will draft
a networking introduction that “sounds” good on paper, but is an unholy
mouthful to say. So to say something important, write it down first to
clarify your thoughts. Or write an article then read it out loud and listen
for the tone, style, and fluency. If it’s easy to listen to, it’s likely
easy to read.

So now you know that being articulate isn’t merely a mystical gift
bestowed on a lucky few. With awareness and practice, you can improve your
“clarity and effectiveness” in everything you say and write. Try these
ideas over the next week, and notice the difference in how people respond
to you!

These past seven weeks I have faced the daunting task of moving my father into assisted living. Interestingly, the part I find most difficult is managing all his STUFF. Deciding what to move, what to donate, what to sell, what to gift, what to store. Decades of accumulated treasures, formerly useful items, and things that can only fall under the category of “what the heck were they thinking?” have crowded my space, both physical and mental.

And it’s got me thinking about traveling light.

When we face a major change in our life, the ability to successfully manage that change can depend as much on what we are willing to let go of, as what we are willing to move towards. This holds true for a new career, a fresh relationship, a relocation, a change in physical ability, or any transition requiring us to show up differently in our lives.

So how do we know what to let go of, when to let go, and how?

Possessions. This is fairly obvious. Jettisoning things that represent who we once were opens up space for new things that reflect who we are now, or are to become. Some indications that it’s time to lighten up are if we feel drained just walking into our house; if most of our stuff is from a different “era” in our lives; if we have more unfinished projects than finished ones; or if we have too many boxes with content we haven’t seen in years. There are myriad resources, on- and off-line, to help us clear our clutter. Common questions to ask yourself about an object are: “Is it beautiful? Is it useful? Do I love it?” To those I would add, “Does it reflect who I am or who I want to be?”

Relationships. In the course of our lives, we tend to collect many people. Some are lifelong sources of joy. Others energize us at first but over time may weigh us down, keep us from growing. It’s never comfortable to let go of relationships, even those that no longer benefit us. However, we pay a high price for hanging on to needy, negative, or judgmental people — costing us energy better spent on friendships we really value, or time we could invest in new, positive relationships. In taking stock of the people in your life, notice who makes you feel good about yourself, whom you are excited to be around, and whom you feel you should call (or find yourself making excuses for not calling). Sometimes it’s easiest to let those relationships quietly fade away. Other times you may have to swallow hard and tell a person that you’ve appreciated their presence in your life but now need to move away from the relationship.

Thoughts and beliefs. We may chuckle at some of the whimsical thoughts and beliefs we held true as children or adolescents, yet stubbornly hang on to others as if they were core to our very being. Sadly, these often originated with other people — imposing on us thoughts that berate, beliefs that hold us hostage by limiting who we are. What if we were to let go of self-doubt, blame, and fear, just as we said goodbye to Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny? The first step is to recognize that those thoughts may have protected or motivated you, but no more. Then ask yourself what you could do or have if you let go of these thoughts. Next, notice each time they come up, and see them for what they are. Old ideas, out of fashion for who you are now, like the taffeta prom dress or the overly snug high school football jersey. Finally, thank them for serving you in the past, and consciously replace them with thoughts and beliefs that nourish and empower you now.

So, think of me as I schlep another box to Goodwill and post another bone lace china figurine on eBay. And ask yourself: what’s one thing, person, or belief I’m willing to let go, and what wonderful thing, person, or belief would I like to bring into my life?