We’re closing in on what should be a favorite time of the year, what with days off work, bountiful feasts, sanctioned shopping sprees, and the festive gathering of family and friends.

In reality, many people I talk to dread the holidays. Days off work lead to overflowing in-boxes later on. Bountiful feasts result in frantic diet resolutions on January 1. Shopping sprees end up on bloated credit card statements next month. And gatherings lead to bending over backwards to make sure everything is perfect, and reluctantly entertaining relatives whose faces you’d rather see on milk cartons than in your own home.

Holidays can be wonderful, special times when we take the opportunity to tell people how much they mean to us, while sharing fun times and exchanging gifts. I believe what causes all that stress and panic is that we rarely stop to give gifts to those most deserving: ourselves.

Throughout the year we spend a lot of time taking care of other people. We defer our own needs, telling ourselves we’ll see that movie or play that game of golf or visit that spa as soon as we get a little extra time. Tell the truth now: how often does that “little extra time” show up? And if it does, how often do you actually do something fun with it?

So, what better time than the end of the year to take a look at how much you’ve accomplished. We make New Year’s Resolutions; why not Old Year Congratulations? Make a list of all the wonderful things you’ve done for others this past year, then give yourself gifts you’ve been deferring. Here are some ideas of what you can give yourself over the holidays:

Don’t accept every invitation you get. It’s tempting to go to every office party, every social gathering, every holiday event this time of year. Instead of running yourself ragged, pick a handful you think you’ll enjoy the most, and do them up in style!

Budget in quiet time. As challenging as this may sound, scheduling a 30- or 60-minute block of time for yourself, even once a week, may be the best gift you could ever give yourself. Read, nap, work on a hobby, listen to music. Rejuvenate yourself and notice how much more energy you’ll have for others afterwards.

Skip the malls. Send out cards early, with a note telling everyone that you’re skipping gifts this year (except perhaps for the kids) and instead donating the money to hurricane victims. You’ll feel less stressed and know you’re doing a good thing. You may even inspire others to do the same.

Surround yourself with favorite people. Set aside quality time to spend with your most treasured people in the world. If those people live far away, schedule an hour to talk with them on the phone. Make the time to tell the people you love how much you love them.

Cancel a holiday. I’ve already heard that a few of my friends have “cancelled” a holiday this year. Instead of running around shopping and decorating and cooking and pleasing everyone, they said, “No go. I’m spending this day with just my husband/partner/kids/friends/nobody. I’m going to the movies. I’m taking a nap.” The world isn’t going to end if you choose not to partake just this once.

Ask for what you want. Instead of doing it all yourself, or assuming you have to, speak up and enlist support. Make all your gatherings potlucks; ask for help with shopping or decorating or cleaning; spend a little less on gifts and hire out the tasks you detest-if just this once.

Do something completely different. Sometimes holiday stress is compounded by the sheer boredom of doing the same old thing, year after year. Shake things up, do something unusual-see a new show, invite different people over, decorate the house in a creative way, volunteer somewhere special, let someone else host the dinner. Break tradition and see what happens. You might find something so enjoyable it becomes a new tradition!

You know how when someone gives you a gift, it doesn’t have to be big or expensive to mean the world to you? It’s the same with giving a gift to yourself. Recount your year’s accomplishments and lavish yourself with a little extra time, space, or energy-you may be surprised to find that this year you’ve had the happiest holidays ever.

My husband and I like to play games. Board games in particular, but most any game will do. One day we walked around downtown Portland, on a hunt for objects that started with each letter of the alphabet. (The letter X made this a particularly long walk).

This ability to play serves us well, especially when life gets stressful. It reminds us that even in serious times there’s still some room for levity. I also believe that the ability to play helps us overcome adversity in ways that few other things can.

During childhood, most of us are experts at play. It’s hardwired in us to use our imagination as we figure out the world around us and come up with strategies for dealing with it. But somewhere during adolescence, we give up “childish” ways in favor of independence and maturity. Our strategies solidify, and our (apparent) need to experiment decreases. This is all well and good except for the fact that, once established as adults, we tend to forget all the other benefits that play affords us:

• A way to release tension, stress, and anxiety
• An avenue for social connection
• Access to the healthful perks of smiles and laughter
• Ways to look at our problems in a new light
• Opportunities for creative, innovative solutions.

Fortunately, lots of grown-ups still know how to play. Competitive sports, poker night, video games, even stock day-trading can all be forms of play. These activities certainly can help us relieve stress, improve our social life, and provide us with humor (all but the day-trading, I expect).

However, the kind of play I’m advocating taps into our childlike sense of creativity and wonder. It fuels our imagination and stretches our mind to see our world in a fresh way. It’s this kind of play that helps us approach problems differently and come up with creative solutions.

If you have kids, you’re probably a lot closer to this kind of play, especially when you get down on your hands and knees and become a dragon, or get fingerpaint under your nails.

But even if you don’t have kids (or your kids have reached that “I’m too old to play” age themselves), there’s immense benefit in reawakening the kid in you. Regardless of your current challenge, taking time to play can make a world of difference.

Here are some ideas for play you might not have considered lately, if ever:

• Organize a scavenger hunt with neighborhood kids (or adults!).
• Play Frisbee in a nearby field, or find a Frisbee golf course if you’re goal-oriented.
• Dust off your Rubik’s cube. Work it awhile then remember why it collected dust in the first place.
• Go to a thrift or vintage store and rescue one of the games or toys you played with as a child. Play with it again.
• Play badminton or croquet (badly) with friends.
• Browse online for a weird toy or gizmo. Some favorite sites include www.ehobbies.com, www.thinkertoys.com, and www.scientificsonline.com.
• Write a limerick or haiku about a current challenge you’re having.
• Even better, take a favorite song and personalize the lyrics. Sing it to yourself or to very trusted friends.
• Buy jacks. Play with them.
• If you’re a crossword puzzle addict, buy a word puzzle book and try something completely different.
• Get a paint-by-number set. Ignore all the color codes.
• If you built model trains/planes/cars as a kid, go get one. Re-experience paint and glue and racing stripe decals.
• Ask your kid to make up a game, then play it with them. Then it’s your turn to make one up.

Play is personal and highly subjective, but the value and rewards are universal. By tapping into the very best part of who we were as children, we can reclaim the very best part of who we are now.

So, how will you go out and play today?

As we move my elderly father 1,000 miles closer to us, the concept of “worry” has been on my mind a lot lately. The dictionary defines worry as “feeling uneasy or concerned about something; to be troubled.” Worry can also be “to pull or tear at something with or as if with the teeth” (like a dog worrying a bone). That’s a fitting analogy for the scenarios we repeatedlygnaw on with our minds.

So, why do we worry? I believe there are several reasons:

1. We simulate negative situations to “practice” how we will handle them in real life.
2. We imagine worst-case scenarios as a kind of talisman, protecting us from their actually happening.
3. Since our brain chemistry doesn’t differentiate between real and imagined scenarios, we get addicted to the “fight or flight” chemicals released when we imagine the worst.

In truth, worrying rarely helps us. How many times has the situation you worried about actually turned out that way? What worry does do is put us in a constant state of anxiety, weakening our immune system, suppressing our creativity, and in fact making us less able to handle difficult life situations when they do arise.

Believe it or not, we choose to worry. After many years of practice that choice becomes a habit, but one that can be broken with conscious effort. Without becoming an insufferable optimist or dismissing reality, you can still choose to focus on the best-case scenario. By doing so, you send your mind and body a signal that this is the outcome you’re aiming for.

Here are a few creative ways to help break the worrying habit:

CIA. Consider the situation you’re worried about, and make a three-column list: things you can Control, things you can Influence, and things you can Accept about the situation. Take action on the first two columns, and let go of the third.

Freebird. If you’re a visual person, sometimes it helps to imagine your thoughts as something tangible. I often picture worrisome thoughts as trapped birds, frantically flapping around in my head. Then I imagine opening a window and letting them fly out. While you can use any image that works for you, I recommend finding something that signifies “letting go” or “releasing.”

Get in gear. Worrying is a lot like having your foot on the gas pedal without the car being in gear. You waste a lot of gas but don’t go anywhere. Change that potential energy into kinetic energy! Go for a walk, run up a flight of stairs, turn on some music and dance. Move your body and change your chemistry.Now’s OK. Bring yourself back to the present. Where are you and what are you doing right now? Eating breakfast, driving your car, sitting in your office, brushing your teeth, walking the dog? Chances are you’re in familiar territory. Is there anything in this moment that’s truly unmanageable? Do this each time you feel overwhelmed. By returning to the present, you reclaim your power over the situation and your life. Even when you’re faced with something new, assess the present and know that you’re handling it, right now.

Improvise on these to suit your personality. For more ideas, read 25 Ways to Break the Worrying Habit.