I’m skeptical when someone claims to be fearless–after all, it’s an integral part of being human. If we understand that fear’s true (albeit sometimes misguided) purpose is to keep us safe, we can actually use it to our advantage.

Unfortunately, it seems that instead of being taught to manage fear, we’re almost encouraged to operate from it–by our parents (with punishment), our teachers (with bad grades), our employers (with termination), government (with loss of freedom), the media (with crime and natural disasters), and the list goes on.

Fear can hijack your life by:

• dampening your motivation to grow or improve your situation
• jeopardizing personal and professional relationships
• making you hesitant to accept help
• forcing you to make excuses for your words and actions
• locking you into negative thought patterns and self-destructive behaviors
• imprisoning you in a dead-end job, a bad marriage, even your own home.

However, I believe we can learn to choose how we experience fear, and in doing so open ourselves up to a whole new set of options. When you get right down to it, our emotions are just energy. We can either let that energy overwhelm us, or we can harness and drive it in a more positive direction.

Here are a few ways you can reframe your fear.

Recognize fear for what it is. Perceived fear is a physical sensation. And unless you’re in the direct path of a large speeding object or a person with malicious intent, you have the luxury of just feeling that fear for a few minutes. Sit quietly, close your eyes, and concentrate on where you feel fear in your body. Now, imagine breathing through those affected areas. Notice how the sensations change. You’ll soon realize that fear is physical and transient, something that you can control and release.

Get rational. Turn on your “left” brain and see your fear as a puzzle to be solved. Ask questions like: Who taught me to be fearful about this? Which parts of this fear are rational, and which are ridiculous? When did I start being afraid? Where does this show up for me? What would happen if I chose to feel differently about this? Disarm your fear with some compassionate interrogation.

Do some biased research. You can always find plenty of evidence to support your fears. Instead, avoid the path of least resistance and look for facts and statistics that refute your fears. When you look for evidence to the contrary, not only will you find it, but you may also find you’ve changed your whole outlook in the process.

Model yourself after the best. Talk to or read about someone who’s faced a similar situation. Recognize that in each of us is the ability to overcome great obstacles. Sometimes all it takes is feeling inspired by others to see it in ourselves.

Air them out. Fears rattle around in our head like nuts and bolts in a clothes dryer. Drawing fears out into the air or in writing strips them of their power, somehow. Find a trusted friend to talk with, or simply write them down. Watch them magically shrink before your very eyes!

Have a “higher self” dialogue. Once you’ve exposed your fears, talk back to them. Pretend you are a very old, very wise person, and respond to each specific fear in a calm, assured, comforting way–verbally or in writing. You’ll be amazed at your own wisdom, and soon realize you’re also free to act on that wisdom.

Trust your own sources. It’s likely that you inherited many fears early on, from adults, influential peers, teachers, or other “trusted” sources. Ask yourself how much of your fear is based on your own experience. What part of it is “Mom always said…,” or “It happened to my cousin once…,” or “CNN reported…”? Once you understand the source, give yourself permission to let go of any fear you accidentally picked up from someone else.

Break it down gently. If fear keeps you from achieving a goal, a phobia treatment called systematic desensitization can help get you back in gear. First break your goal into small, doable increments. Then visualize each step, and imagine taking action and getting a great result. As your fear rises, use deep breathing or other relaxation techniques to dissipate any uncomfortable feelings. Then take that step, managing your anxiety with relaxation as you go. You’ll soon be able to control your fear response, stay in action, and reach your goal. This approach is reinforcing, because taking action is one of fear’s most powerful antidotes!

When you change your knee-jerk reaction to fear into a thoughtful response, you take away its power to control your life. So next time you find yourself resisting, suppressing, avoiding, or fighting something you’re afraid of, take a closer look and try to understand the fear. Remember, “know fear” leads to “no fear!”