These past seven weeks I have faced the daunting task of moving my father into assisted living. Interestingly, the part I find most difficult is managing all his STUFF. Deciding what to move, what to donate, what to sell, what to gift, what to store. Decades of accumulated treasures, formerly useful items, and things that can only fall under the category of “what the heck were they thinking?” have crowded my space, both physical and mental.

And it’s got me thinking about traveling light.

When we face a major change in our life, the ability to successfully manage that change can depend as much on what we are willing to let go of, as what we are willing to move towards. This holds true for a new career, a fresh relationship, a relocation, a change in physical ability, or any transition requiring us to show up differently in our lives.

So how do we know what to let go of, when to let go, and how?

Possessions. This is fairly obvious. Jettisoning things that represent who we once were opens up space for new things that reflect who we are now, or are to become. Some indications that it’s time to lighten up are if we feel drained just walking into our house; if most of our stuff is from a different “era” in our lives; if we have more unfinished projects than finished ones; or if we have too many boxes with content we haven’t seen in years. There are myriad resources, on- and off-line, to help us clear our clutter. Common questions to ask yourself about an object are: “Is it beautiful? Is it useful? Do I love it?” To those I would add, “Does it reflect who I am or who I want to be?”

Relationships. In the course of our lives, we tend to collect many people. Some are lifelong sources of joy. Others energize us at first but over time may weigh us down, keep us from growing. It’s never comfortable to let go of relationships, even those that no longer benefit us. However, we pay a high price for hanging on to needy, negative, or judgmental people — costing us energy better spent on friendships we really value, or time we could invest in new, positive relationships. In taking stock of the people in your life, notice who makes you feel good about yourself, whom you are excited to be around, and whom you feel you should call (or find yourself making excuses for not calling). Sometimes it’s easiest to let those relationships quietly fade away. Other times you may have to swallow hard and tell a person that you’ve appreciated their presence in your life but now need to move away from the relationship.

Thoughts and beliefs. We may chuckle at some of the whimsical thoughts and beliefs we held true as children or adolescents, yet stubbornly hang on to others as if they were core to our very being. Sadly, these often originated with other people — imposing on us thoughts that berate, beliefs that hold us hostage by limiting who we are. What if we were to let go of self-doubt, blame, and fear, just as we said goodbye to Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny? The first step is to recognize that those thoughts may have protected or motivated you, but no more. Then ask yourself what you could do or have if you let go of these thoughts. Next, notice each time they come up, and see them for what they are. Old ideas, out of fashion for who you are now, like the taffeta prom dress or the overly snug high school football jersey. Finally, thank them for serving you in the past, and consciously replace them with thoughts and beliefs that nourish and empower you now.

So, think of me as I schlep another box to Goodwill and post another bone lace china figurine on eBay. And ask yourself: what’s one thing, person, or belief I’m willing to let go, and what wonderful thing, person, or belief would I like to bring into my life?

As we move my elderly father 1,000 miles closer to us, the concept of “worry” has been on my mind a lot lately. The dictionary defines worry as “feeling uneasy or concerned about something; to be troubled.” Worry can also be “to pull or tear at something with or as if with the teeth” (like a dog worrying a bone). That’s a fitting analogy for the scenarios we repeatedlygnaw on with our minds.

So, why do we worry? I believe there are several reasons:

1. We simulate negative situations to “practice” how we will handle them in real life.
2. We imagine worst-case scenarios as a kind of talisman, protecting us from their actually happening.
3. Since our brain chemistry doesn’t differentiate between real and imagined scenarios, we get addicted to the “fight or flight” chemicals released when we imagine the worst.

In truth, worrying rarely helps us. How many times has the situation you worried about actually turned out that way? What worry does do is put us in a constant state of anxiety, weakening our immune system, suppressing our creativity, and in fact making us less able to handle difficult life situations when they do arise.

Believe it or not, we choose to worry. After many years of practice that choice becomes a habit, but one that can be broken with conscious effort. Without becoming an insufferable optimist or dismissing reality, you can still choose to focus on the best-case scenario. By doing so, you send your mind and body a signal that this is the outcome you’re aiming for.

Here are a few creative ways to help break the worrying habit:

CIA. Consider the situation you’re worried about, and make a three-column list: things you can Control, things you can Influence, and things you can Accept about the situation. Take action on the first two columns, and let go of the third.

Freebird. If you’re a visual person, sometimes it helps to imagine your thoughts as something tangible. I often picture worrisome thoughts as trapped birds, frantically flapping around in my head. Then I imagine opening a window and letting them fly out. While you can use any image that works for you, I recommend finding something that signifies “letting go” or “releasing.”

Get in gear. Worrying is a lot like having your foot on the gas pedal without the car being in gear. You waste a lot of gas but don’t go anywhere. Change that potential energy into kinetic energy! Go for a walk, run up a flight of stairs, turn on some music and dance. Move your body and change your chemistry.Now’s OK. Bring yourself back to the present. Where are you and what are you doing right now? Eating breakfast, driving your car, sitting in your office, brushing your teeth, walking the dog? Chances are you’re in familiar territory. Is there anything in this moment that’s truly unmanageable? Do this each time you feel overwhelmed. By returning to the present, you reclaim your power over the situation and your life. Even when you’re faced with something new, assess the present and know that you’re handling it, right now.

Improvise on these to suit your personality. For more ideas, read 25 Ways to Break the Worrying Habit.