So, this morning I was putting groceries away in my car when a plastic bottle bounced out of a bag, rolled down the parking lot, and came to rest under the rear wheel of an armored truck-manned by a dour-looking (and armed) driver waiting for his partner to return from the bank next door. As I pondered the predicament of retrieving my coffee creamer without jeopardizing life and limb, I thought, “Aah, this will be a fun story to tell.”We’re wired to love stories from the get-go, from bedtime stories to campfire ghost lores, Friday night movies to tales of the “good ol’ days.” Yet so often we think of stories as merely recreational, neglecting the power they have to shape our professional lives.

Often stories come into focus only when it’s time to change jobs, as we dust off our résumés and dread the process of “selling ourselves.” What did we do? How did we do it? What were the results? Couching our professional history in terms of success stories and accomplishments is a very effective way to communicate the value we bring to a potential employer-in résumés, cover letters, and interviews.

The trouble is, most of us wait until we’re unhappy with our work situation before we ever think to capture these stories. It’s a lot harder to catalog our accomplishments when we’re feeling despondent, downtrodden, and disillusioned.

What if, instead, you made an habit of creating success stories as you go? When you’ve completed a project at work, write it down in a paragraph or two. When you’re asked to do something out of the ordinary, write it down. When you come up with a great idea, write it down. The benefits to doing this go beyond having fodder for your next job search:

• Documenting your performance for an annual review
• Positioning yourself within your organization for a raise or promotion
• Justifying your contributions in the face of potential layoffs or downsizing
• Reinforcing your own value when you’re having a bad day.

Not to mention, it’s a lot less for you to remember when you do want to move on to something more rewarding.

The challenge is recognizing those accomplishments that seem like breathing to you, but demonstrate skills and talents that may be invaluable to someone else. Think about a specific task or project you’ve done recently (no matter how small or large), and how you brought your unique style to the job. Here are some questions to ask yourself as you craft your story:

• How did my task or project contribute to the organization?
• What obstacles or challenges did I face?
• How did I overcome these challenges to reach my objectives?
• What resources did I call upon to get the job done?
• How did this work align with the culture or values of my boss/team/company?
• What did I learn that I can use next time?

The best part is that, instead of “bragging” about yourself, you’re engaging in a process that others truly enjoy. Whether it’s a prospective employer, a current boss, or new teammate, sharing your stories gives them a taste of who you are, what’s important to you, and what it’s like to work with you. That’s why I like to include those last two questions about values and learning. It helps build rapport and demonstrates your capacity for growth.

But don’t just stop in the workplace. Capture your successes at home, in your relationships, as a parent, with your hobbies or passions. What you’re good at and what makes you uniquely you shows up in all areas of your life, and deserves to be documented.

So find a journal, save a Word file (or Excel spreadsheet if that’s your thing), carry a mini-recorder. Whatever makes it easiest for you to start logging the successes in your life. Not only will you find that these stories directly contribute to your professional growth, they help you more fully experience your life and remember what’s truly important to you. Plus they’ll make it a whole lot easier to write that résumé and conduct that interview if the time comes.

Well, I successfully mimed my request through bullet-proof glass to the dour driver, who rolled the armored truck forward three feet, allowing me to retrieve my coffee creamer and live to see another day. This story, while demonstrating both creativity and the ability to stay cool under pressure, may not make it into a cover letter or résumé… but then again, you never know. It made it into this newsletter.

What’s your story?

Wood. It’s a material so familiar we rarely give it any thought unless we actually do woodwork for a living or hobby. But wood is a fascinating substance. Natural, sturdy, resilient, absorbent, beautiful. Not unlike ourselves.

If you look closely at any piece of wood, you’ll see its personality in a unique grain pattern, like a fingerprint. Wood grain, like human personality, is an amalgam of that tree species’ growth pattern (like our own genes) and how it interacts with its environment over time (like our own life experiences).

The grain gives the wood beauty, strength, and character. We often choose a particular piece of wood furniture or sculpture solely on its pleasing grain pattern.

The funny thing is, while we select and treat wood to feature or highlight its grain, we so often deliberately cover up our own “grain.” It’s like taking a beautiful piece of wood and painting it.

How do we do this? By denying our true nature, our core values. By not being honest in our relationships. By letting important decisions be overly influenced by friends, fads, and fashions. All these behaviors are like sanding against our own grain.

For example, I’ve heard clients say, “I have a great job–respected company, power title, big salary, good benefits–yet I’m truly miserable. Why can’t I just appreciate what I have?” They assume that they need to change themselves, to conform to the job in order to be happy, instead of considering that the job might be going against their grain. It’s true that there will always be days when we’re happier with our job than other days, but if you consistently dread going to work, it’s time to check in with yourself.

We can cover up our true nature for a while but, as Dickens pointed out, the more we varnish ourselves up the more our grain will ultimately shine through. Unfortunately, the ensuing battle between covering up and expressing ourselves can leave us stressed, confused, burned out.

What’s the upside? By learning to go with your own grain, you regain time and energy spent trying to be something or someone you’re not. You are more productive, make better decisions, have more satisfying relationships, and carve a life that is uniquely yours and not dictated by others’ whims and wishes.

So what does it take to “go with your grain?” On the surface it seems like the most natural thing in the world. Unfortunately, we live in a society that seems to reward authentic expression in reality shows but often punishes it in reality. So, learning to express our true nature in real life takes both courage and patience. Here are some steps to get you started:

Know what really matters. Get clear about what’s important to you. Ask yourself what really matters in your life–what values, preferences, and desires you don’t want to live without. Is it Family? Money? Creativity? Spirituality? Independence? A Vacation Home in the Tropics?

Trust yourself. Don’t laugh, but once you come up with your list of core values, it’s very common to go back over it and decide why each one is wrong. A key step to showing up authentically is acknowledging and believing that what you want (assuming it doesn’t involve harming others) is perfectly OK.

Identify discrepancies. Now that you’re clearer about what’s most important, look around your life and see how it measures up. Is your job in alignment with who you are? Do the people you care about most know who you really are? Are you making a contribution where you’d like to? Are you having fun?

Pick a place to start. Identify one area where you can start showing up more authentically. It might be that you want to bring more of what you value into your job, or start looking for a job that aligns more fully with your values. It might be learning to express more of what you really want with your spouse or partner. It could be learning to say ‘no’ to people who don’t have your best interests in mind. Whatever you choose, go slowly. Trying to change too much at once is like putting a power sander to the grain. It will take off the varnish but may also leave a big dent!

Ask for help. As I mentioned, learning to go with your grain can take patience and courage. The road is much easier if you work with people who understand and appreciate your commitment to being the best you you can be. Ask close friends or family members to join you on an authenticity journey; join or create an authenticity support group; hire a coach; get spiritual guidance; network with like-minded people who can help you express yourself fully.

So…how do you want to show up in your life? All painted and varnished? Or displaying the natural beauty of your unique grain in everything you do?

What’s your first step to making that happen?